September 2011
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hey adam levine we should bone
ok so I know he’s kinda pale, but he has a gorgeous body and he undresses everything with his eyes and you can just tell he’s one of those people who makes that really intense but not creepy eye contact during sex and i would like that to happen.
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pluralisms replied to your post: wait
don’t do coke, wear protection, and HAVE FUN!!
have three months worth of frustration for fuel lol, without a doubt, WHAT IF THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED???
also, when CJ gets home i’m pretty sure i’m definitely going to suggest that we get to know some swingers because i actually can’t not be really into the idea of us having sex with other...
we're all in agreement that a winking smiley face...
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wait
…what if we just accidentally planned an orgy…?
ok so like
I mean Ryan and I have both ingested some things and stuff, but I think we may have made some unofficial plans for things, and I’m feeling hopeful. jussayin.
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just poured another glass of wine
and it’s a very large glass of wine. I’m going to start channeling betty draper. stay tuned for liveblogging of my drunkness.
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my facebook status tonight is IDEFK,D.
meaning “i don’t even fucking know, dude.”
and my friend eric ACTUALLY understood it.
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WELL I HAVE HAD SOME WINE
AND I AM FEELING IN KIND OF A RAGE BECAUSE i had to spend an entire fucking day with the five year old that is my father and the normal person that is my mother and I JUST CAN’T TAKE ANY MORE AND I WANT IT ALL TO STOP AND I JUST WANT EVERYONE TO STOP TALKING AND OMG PLEASE STOP MAKING NOISES WITH YOUR MOUTH BECAUSE THEY DON’T MAKE SENSE AND ALL THE NONSENSE YOU’RE SPEAKING MAKES...
August 2011
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listen, bro. if you don't text me back with plans
then i will be forced to drink wine with my mother and of all the people i want to be drunk with, Marilyn Silva is not one of them.
So you need to get your butt in motion, pick up the damn phone, and let us get away from our families for once.
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can you PLEASE
just cross the threshold of “modeling” into porn? We all know it’s going there. Please just give us this.
of all the sexual dreams
I get a dream where i’m having drunk sex with a short fat kind of overall unattractive guy on a futon couch. it was so boring and awful i quit during the middle of it.
dear pottermore
WHERE THE EFF IS MY EMAIL?
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wait what
ok so like, Ryan said his girlfriend dumped him a couple weeks ago, and, mentally, I was like “sweet. now we can probably make out.” but then his facebook still says he’s in a relationship with her. like, not just ‘in a relationship’ but like ‘in a relationship with (this chick who may or may not be being a huge cockblock)’ and I saw that and was like...
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oh another 'Marilyn Silva Discovers The Internet"...
“Hey Joanna you have to come look at these cats. They’re so funny”
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Marilyn Silva
treats facebook like it’s everyone’s Christmas Letter.
“Oh did you hear your cousin’s baby grew his first tooth?”
“Your cousin William may have found a long lost relative”
“oh you made your teddy bear a facebook. it’s so cute!”
“Oh CJ’s mom wrote him a comment on his facebook.”
“why did you write on...
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meetonlyindeath replied to your post: I havent logged into OKC in MONTHS
Oh my god. How do people not get Mean Girls quotes? -_-
I KNOW RIGHT?
Obviously none of these people are my soulmates.
Unfortunately, of all the message filters I can put in place, “knowledge of Mean Girls” is not one of them.
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So it seems progressiveness runs in my family.
I went out to dinner with my mom tonight, and we somehow got on the topic of my grandpa’s grandfather, who is my great great grandfather, who was from Italy and disliked Sicilians. His name was Ralph. So we were talking about him and how he must have been an exaggerated version of my grandfather, who was arguably my favorite grandparent (ask me anything about him. he was hilarious and warm...
Reblog if you want (1+) creepy compliment.
the-face-of-broe:
steegeschnoeber:
littlemonster-94:
psychopathsgetbored:
Oh God, please.
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Hey Tumblr,
I keep seeing things about abortion come across my Dash. It’s all obviously from people who are pro-choice reblogging stuff that is anti-abortion with their commentary added, and I’ve had a bit to drink, and I just want to take this opportunity, and hope that it ends up being seen by EVERYONE EVER FOREVER, that I’ve had a chat with my mom recently, and we both agreed that, if I...
clavicola:
“For Sale: Baby Shoes, Never Worn.”
In the 1920s, Ernest Hemingway bet ten dollars that he could write a complete story in just six words. He wrote and he won, calling it his best piece of writing.
I always do this in my head when i’m bored.
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Yo, Hilary Duff, I'm really happy for you and...
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i want cake and sex and I have NONE OF EITHER
GPOY
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I havent logged into OKC in MONTHS
but i decided to because, as a joke, Ryan sent me a message on it. and so I read some of my other messages, and NO ONE on okc understands my sense of humor or movie choices. my ‘you should message me if:’ section goes like this:
You should message me if:
-You are flawless -You have two Fendi purses and a silver Lexus -Your hair is insured for ten thousand dollars -You do car...
IT'S A HURRICANE IRENE MIRACLE, CHARLIE BROWN!
~Cortney broke up with her dumbass boyfriend AND is now facebook friends again with her dumbass ex boyfriend who looks like the guy she just broke up with.
AND I CAN’T WAIT TO READ THE STATUSES!
Oh, Irene, did you bring me this gift? do I get to spend my cabin-fever-filled day reading her heart-broken, angry, drunk, newfound sluttiness facebook statuses? because that would be the best...
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My facial recognition SUCKS, honestly.
lozzfonz:
Whenever I watch Game of Thrones, I spend half of the time shouting “BUT WHO IS THAT” at the screen, Jesus.
So many brown haired white boys running around. YOU ALL LOOK THE SAME, BOYS. YOU ALL LOOK THE SAME TO ME UGH.
It is very frustrating.
my life every episode.
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womp womp
I want to have a game of thrones marathon during the hurricane but my parents will be home and presumably hogging the tv with their stupid programming.
also i don’t want to watch that much sex with, or explain that much of a plot to, Marilyn Silva.
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every time someone on this show speaks
i’m like “…is this a euphemism…?”
because i’m not ever sure if they’re just conversing or beginning foreplay.
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Daenerys is also a badass
bein all queenly and pregnant and shit.
Arya is such a little badass!
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poopsadaisy replied to your post: watching game of thrones before going to bed super early
I would fuck my twin if my twin looked like Jaime. Wouldn’t even think twice about it.
i would too.
i’d throw myself into a twincestuous three way with those two, given the option. they’re both attractive. except i’m pretty sure Cersei would rip my face off in a fit of rage
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who is this hot guy who runs the...
and is he hiring?
watching game of thrones before going to bed super...
is it bad that i kind of wonder/can guess how rough and amazing the sex with that barbaric guy who has the horse must be?
because i’d bet that it’s the roughest and amazing-est sex HBO has ever implied.
I bet it’s better than the lannister twincest, which, admittedly, looks pretty hot.
“If U cAnT hAnDlE mE aT mY wOrSt, U dOnT dEsErVe M3 @ My BeSt~”
– 12 year old girls who googled ‘cool inspirational quotes’ (via unijodiecorn)
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I just want everyone to know that tumblr has...
I WILL INDEED FUCK AWAY AND DEDICATE IT TO YOU!
******i mean tonight, as in a couple hours ago.
someone ask me how i got free drinks last night
because im tired and dont want to tell the story right now.
dear conscience,
please get with the program. every part of me has teamed up with some bourbon and wants to get it in. except you. you’re all “no don’t fuck any dude” and my vagina is all “hey we should totally do this guy” and all the alcohol is like “YAY SEX!”
please join with the rest of me in wanting to get laid so that i can. i have CJ’s consent, so,...
"hey when are you coming back?"
-text message from will.
I didn’t respond, but if I did, my response would have been
“uhhhhhh never”
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this is my husband. there are many like him, but...
i love this person more than anything and this is one of the reasons why
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I Heard There Would Be Cake: hey tumblr help me... →
awildvuvuzelaappeared:
I was on a livejournal community a long time ago one time, looking at literary tattoos, and someone had a tattoo of a red square. not the Red Square, but simply a red square. the literary significance had to do with a quote that basically amounted to “we lived in a small apartment, and we drew…
reblogging myself because i really want to know if anyone knows the...
