December 2010
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You're the meaning in my life
YOU’RE THE THINSPIRATION!
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I Don't Know Anything About Anorexia
as a diet/cry for attention disguised as an eating disorder, but I feel like, when one has a livejournal where they write about their anorexia, and post Thinspo, that the girls in the pictures would look anorexic as well.
Like, I’m looking at this journal (you all know who’s journal it is), and she just posts pictures of models and girls who are my size. And they all look healthy...
why do I feel like I knew this would happen
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Maybe it's the impending tattoo or the season
But I’ve been thinking about Andy a lot lately. I have a denim vest covered in patches that belonged to him, that I came upon while cleaning today. I buried my face in it, hoping for a hint of his smell, except I didn’t actually know what sort of smell I was hoping for. But instead of a smell, the feeling of the different textures of patches and the denim just brought back so many...
reblog if your pussy is flawless
cuntopolis:
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HEY MELISSA REMEMBER THAT TIME
in high school where, for christmas, you made everyone mix CD’s?
and mine said “BEWARE THE NIKKON!”
I just found it, safe and sound, while I was cleaning my room.
I will never forget when you told the story about finding out what a nikkon was because you were like “NO ONE IS MORE OBSCURE THAN ME”
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Not you. Something else.
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“Get fruity! A mashed banana or peaches inserted in your vagina is a delightful...”
– Cosmopolitan Ultimate Sex Guide. (via ahhellobeautiful-)
That’s fucking gross, Cosmo
(via ivyyy)
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha OH COSMO! This is so hot, I’ll totally be doing it tonight~
(via disgustinghuman)
i just gagged.
(via sexisbeautiful)
the phrase “delightful invitation for him to whoosh...
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I don't get it
You are confusing and frustrating me.
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Somtimes
I feel like an expression on Nancy Botwin’s face. Usually never the feeling her expression is conveying. But sometimes I feel like a blank, wide doe-eye, mouth hanging open stare.
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But I DO Love Being the Princess
So every few years for christmas my dad gives my mom a Doonie and Bourke purse, and I’m always jealous because I’ve only ever gotten a knock off Coach wristlet. So this year, when he showed me the purse he got for my mom, I said “Barry Silva. I have been asking for and begging for a real Coach purse for years. When is my turn?”
He just got home from work, and completely...
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Watchneverendingwar:
terriermon:
repeatrepeatx:
FOREVER REBLOG
i love her
i’ll kill your fucking dog for fun so don’t push me
i kinda want this haircut next time i chop all my hair off but i feel like i just can’t pull it off like she can. she’s such a badass
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Dear Mike Lussier
I know I’m not your only customer, and I’m really happy for you and I’ma let you finish, but my tattoo appointment is in two weeks and it’s a huge piece and I WOULD REALLY LIKE TO SEE THE ARTWORK FOR IT SOON PLEASE and you promised to email me when it was done and you still haven’t yet and I am anxious and excited and WILL YOU PLEASE JUST EMAIL ME ALREADY?
pluralisms asked: omg that would be PERFECT. have her shoot me an email!
“In Tanzania, the normal greeting is ‘Habari,’ which means ‘How are you?’ The...”
– Jonathan Carroll (via kavalierandclay)
I love this!
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On poop.
dearcoketalk:
Why the fuck do some sexist, misogynist men and self loathing women think by any stretch of logic that women don’t poop?
Ugly girls poop, but pretty girl poop is a myth. Only eighties music and rainbow sherbet comes out of our butts.
(Chill out, stinky. This kind of ridiculousness deserves to be laughed at. You need to have a sense of humor, otherwise when real sexism and...
pluralisms asked: omg that would be PERFECT. have her shoot me an email!
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I was going through old tumblr posts
and thinking about old text messages, and I realized that most of the time when I send Melissa a text message, it is almost automatically followed up with a text saying “also I’ve been drinking”
pluralisms replied to your post: Things I Did Today
i called AND texted you me leanne and chuck went for drinks :(((((((((
OH NO, BOO! i didn’t receive anything :( damn my phone
Dear Coke Talk: On taking the high road. →
dearcoketalk:
Dear CT, I just got an email from one of my best female friends dropping the bombshell that she’s dating my sister’s ex (who only finished with my sister a couple of months ago and has constantly slated her publically since). To add insult to injury, she was a real dick about it, saying she…
I’m glad I took the high road, but she will never be my friend again, and he...
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Things I Did Today
Read a year’s worth of Dear Coke Talk posts
Watched the last 9 episodes of Family Guy on Netflix Instant Watch
Watched Season 1 of Weeds in its entirety
Knitted one baby bootie
Dear Coke Talk: On pussy perfection. →
what are your tips for a perfect pussy, without waxing? i ask you because i feel like you would know.
You have to be clean. More than that. You have to want to be clean. All the time.
Shave everything. I use a man razor. A fucking Mach3 Turbo. Fuck that Venus shit, and don’t even talk to me…
new new year’s resolution: carry spare panties at all times and assume i’ll be...
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It just keeps on being Christmas for me
So remember that time CJ dumped me for Cortney? (We referred to her as Sloppy)
And then remember that time she dumped him for the wigga coke dealer?
And then remember the time when she still wanted to be my friend?
And that other time she threw the deck chair?
WELL FRIENDS, CHRISTMAS HAS COME AGAIN.
Because (SHOCKER) she and her shitbag boyfriend have broken up.
Her facebook is lighting up...
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On getting more head.
dearcoketalk:
How do I get my boyfriend to go down on me more often? I keep a clean, smooth shop, the sex is great, and I am more than willing to reciprocate the action. He claims to just “not be in the mood” to give me head, but come on, if I’m willing to swallow some cock I’d better be on the receiving end of a hyperactive tongue.
Kindly inform him that a man’s tongue will spend at least one...
Dear Coke Talk: On threesomes with couples. →
My girlfriend wants us to have a threesome, and having a penis, I have no problem with this. We have no issues getting girls to hang out with us, but is there a way to bring up having a threesome without scaring the other girl off (which has happened before)?
It’s pretty simple. Don’t be…
On masturbation.
dearcoketalk:
What’s the best way to masturbate? On top of Jon Hamm.
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This is a Poll:
should I wear my new boots with a new cardigan and new shirt and new jeans
Pro’s
I love the boots
ALL NEW CLOTHES!
I would look wicked cute
Boots are comfortable
Cons
I don’t get to wear the high heels
Boot heels aren’t very high
This outfit isn’t very Christmasy
Or
should I wear my senator wife high heels with an older sweater and my new jeans
Pros
THE FUCKING...
brosephstalin asked: LOLOLOLOL
I am enjoying it thank you.
Unfortunately, and I get this from my dad, I really am just eh about Springsteen. Don't hate him, don't like him, just eh.
DON'T HATE ME
I am enjoying it thank you.
Unfortunately, and I get this from my dad, I really am just eh about Springsteen. Don't hate him, don't like him, just eh.
DON'T HATE ME
brosephstalin asked: LOLOLOLOL
I am enjoying it thank you.
Unfortunately, and I get this from my dad, I really am just eh about Springsteen. Don't hate him, don't like him, just eh.
DON'T HATE ME
I am enjoying it thank you.
Unfortunately, and I get this from my dad, I really am just eh about Springsteen. Don't hate him, don't like him, just eh.
DON'T HATE ME
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I'm having a religious experience listening to...
funny story about record players.
I got one for christmas a few years ago and dug The White Album by the Beatles out of the basement, and listened to it and loved it of course.
And then one day I decided to spin it backwards to hear any secret messages.
AND THEN I STARTED HEARING WORDS!
And then I got freaked out and stopped spinning the record.
And then I realized that I hadn’t been...
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I GOT THE SENATOR'S WIFE SHOES!
and the boots I really wanted!
And a pair of bright red high heels!
And clothes!
And pearls!
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Just because you are upset about your deceased...
it does not mean you can take it out on me and yell at me for “being rude” when I say I don’t want any coffee.
THERE DOES NOT NEED TO BE AN OPERA VERSION OF...
GO AWAY, JOSH GROBIN
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Whatever mom
Be crazy.
Force me to listen to the same Christmas CD’s and annoying-ass music we’ve had stuck in that CD player since 1991.
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