I Heard There Would Be Cake

YOU’RE THE THINSPIRATION!

as a diet/cry for attention disguised as an eating disorder, but I feel like, when one has a livejournal where they write about their anorexia, and post Thinspo, that the girls in the pictures would look anorexic as well.

Like, I’m looking at this journal (you all know who’s journal it is), and she just posts pictures of models and girls who are my size. And they all look healthy (read: you can’t see their ribs and they don’t look emaciated. they look like my size). If I were anorexic as a diet and not a mental issue, you can bet I’d be going balls to the wall with my thinspo and posting pictures of skeletons covered in skin.

I mean, isn’t that what she’s “striving to be”? a skeleton wrapped in skin? I know her ED is fake and stupid, but even still. Post some real thinspo.

But I’ve been thinking about Andy a lot lately. I have a denim vest covered in patches that belonged to him, that I came upon while cleaning today. I buried my face in it, hoping for a hint of his smell, except I didn’t actually know what sort of smell I was hoping for. But instead of a smell, the feeling of the different textures of patches and the denim just brought back so many memories of his punk phase. I just stood there for a few minutes, hugging the vest to my face and thinking of all the times we had together.

The past few months have been such a cluster fuck and it would have been nice to have him around.

Who am I kidding? The past two years have been a cluster fuck. I wish he could have been around for my 21st and 22nd birthdays.

I miss him.

cuntopolis:

in high school where, for christmas, you made everyone mix CD’s?

and mine said “BEWARE THE NIKKON!”

I just found it, safe and sound, while I was cleaning my room.

I will never forget when you told the story about finding out what a nikkon was because you were like “NO ONE IS MORE OBSCURE THAN ME”

You are confusing and frustrating me.

I feel like an expression on Nancy Botwin’s face. Usually never the feeling her expression is conveying. But sometimes I feel like a blank, wide doe-eye, mouth hanging open stare.

So every few years for christmas my dad gives my mom a Doonie and Bourke purse, and I’m always jealous because I’ve only ever gotten a knock off Coach wristlet. So this year, when he showed me the purse he got for my mom, I said “Barry Silva. I have been asking for and begging for a real Coach purse for years. When is my turn?”

He just got home from work, and completely unprompted said “So when are we going shopping for your coach bag?”

And, surprised I responded with “huh?”

So he said “well you want one, don’t you?”

So on Friday we’re going for breakfast and shopping for a Coach bag.

side note: can we just take a moment to discuss how much my dad adores my mom and adores buying things for her? She’s wicked spoiled and it’s plainly obvious that nothing makes my dad happier than knowing that he can give her nice things. I think it’s adorable.

I know I’m not your only customer, and I’m really happy for you and I’ma let you finish, but my tattoo appointment is in two weeks and it’s a huge piece and I WOULD REALLY LIKE TO SEE THE ARTWORK FOR IT SOON PLEASE and you promised to email me when it was done and you still haven’t yet and I am anxious and excited and WILL YOU PLEASE JUST EMAIL ME ALREADY?